Diary Entry – 53
The girl in the story will be referred to as a chick and not a girl because it annoys her greatly to be called that.
In December 2011, a Mallu chick happened to find my blog and ended up liking it so much that she read every single post that I ever wrote. But there would have been nothing unusual about her if she did not find me on facebook with nothing other than my blog to begin with.
It is impossible for you to know who I am because I have gone over the top about making myself anonymous in my blog. When I started my blog, the blog’s URL and my blogger user name had my real name in it. I was really narcissistic back in the old days but I quickly realized that the only way I could write about someone without getting death threats the next day, was to go anonymous. So I got a new domain, changed my user name and stopped publicizing my blog with friends. I also went on to delete the replies I had given to the thousand odd comments that I had received in my blog. I did this because the username that came up in my replies to comments had my real name. So if you really like my blog and intend to see the cute face behind all the glorious writing, it would be impossible. In fact I would like to announce a contest. You can win an iPhone if you successfully stalk me and find what my real name is. People who already know me unfortunately cannot win an iPhone even though they do deserve to be congratulated for knowing me.
Anyway, this mallu chick who had done the impossible had sent me a friend request on facebook. When I receive friend’s requests from strangers, I don’t add or reject them (especially if they are from women). I just keep their request there because they increase my facebook follower count. Yes my life is quite sad. I have 29 facebook followers at the moment and I aspire to equal Zuckerberg who has a follower count of 17 million. But when my stalker friend sent me a friend's request, I added her because I thought it was my blogging pal who happened to have the same name. Also my stalker’s home town was Thrissur. Who doesn't like a Thrissur chick? We ended up speaking like we had known each other forever. At least I thought she was my blogging friend who I had been emailing for quite sometime. I don’t know what she was thinking.
After a few weeks of talking I found out that she was not the person who I thought she was, because the person I thought she was, was emailing me the exact same time I was talking to her. I felt like how my vegetarian friend felt when he had chicken thinking it was a potato. I was very angry and wanted an explanation but she played dumb and said she was sorry. I wanted to unfriend her then and there. But she was a Thrissur chick and that is what made me blind in the first place. My mother always wondered why I tell her I want to get married, every time I went to Guruvayur (a temple in Thrissur). It is because a Thrissur girl’s Malayalam can turn any Mallu guy on. If you think mallus are hot, chances are you are talking about a Thrissur chick. But my stalker was far from hot in her facebook pictures. The sad part about stalkers is that they are never the super models that you want them to be. Anyway we didn’t want one of those pseudo internet friendships and decided to meet on 19th Febuary 2012. Boy did she live up to the name of a Thrissur chick. She was nothing like her pictures but what really made her hot must have been her Malayalam and her mallu English. She remembers anniversaries and sort of wished me happy anniversary today, for successfully knowing each other for a year. So I thought I would write this as a tribute to her and all my blog fans and followers who help keep my blog alive. If not for you, this blog will not exist. I was not the most regular of bloggers last year where my blog only saw 8 new posts. However only good things have come out of this blog and this year I decided to make a new years resolution to blog every Sunday. It’s almost two months now and I am still sticking with my resolution, though it has changed from posting every Sunday to posting every week. I am going to say the dharma (principle) of my resolution is up held and that is all that matters in the end.
Bloggers, go follow Talitha who gave me a blog award recently without knowing I treat them like how Amir Khan treats his awards. She is a member of the X-Men and her mutant ability is her power to read every single post of yours within 24 hours of posting (assuming your blog posts are as awesome as mine).