Wednesday, February 20, 2013

The Chick Who Stalked Me Because She Liked My Blog

Diary Entry – 53

The girl in the story will be referred to as a chick and not a girl because it annoys her greatly to be called that.


In December 2011, a Mallu chick happened to find my blog and ended up liking it so much that she read every single post that I ever wrote. But there would have been nothing unusual about her if she did not find me on facebook with nothing other than my blog to begin with.
 
It is impossible for you to know who I am because I have gone over the top about making myself anonymous in my blog. When I started my blog, the blog’s URL and my blogger user name had my real name in it. I was really narcissistic back in the old days but I quickly realized that the only way I could write about someone without getting death threats the next day, was to go anonymous. So I got a new domain, changed my user name and stopped publicizing my blog with friends. I also went on to delete the replies I had given to the thousand odd comments that I had received in my blog. I did this because the username that came up in my replies to comments had my real name. So if you really like my blog and intend to see the cute face behind all the glorious writing, it would be impossible. In fact I would like to  announce a contest. You can win an iPhone if you successfully stalk me and find what my real name is. People who already know me unfortunately cannot win an iPhone even though they do deserve to be congratulated for knowing me.


Anyway, this mallu chick who had done the impossible had sent me a friend request on facebook. When I receive friend’s requests from strangers, I don’t add or reject them (especially if they are from women). I just keep their request there because they increase my facebook follower count. Yes my life is quite sad. I have 29 facebook followers at the moment and I aspire to equal Zuckerberg who has a follower count of 17 million. But when my stalker friend sent me a friend's request, I added her because I thought it was my blogging pal who happened to have the same name. Also my stalker’s home town was Thrissur. Who doesn't like a Thrissur chick? We ended up speaking like we had known each other forever. At least I thought she was my blogging friend who I had been emailing for quite sometime. I don’t know what she was thinking.

After a few weeks of talking I found out that she was not the person who I thought she was, because the person I thought she was, was emailing me the exact same time I was talking to her. I felt like how my vegetarian friend felt when he had chicken thinking it was a potato. I was very angry and wanted an explanation but she played dumb and said she was sorry. I wanted to unfriend her then and there. But she was a Thrissur chick and that is what made me blind in the first place. My mother always wondered why I tell her I want to get married, every time I went to Guruvayur (a temple in Thrissur). It is because a Thrissur girl’s Malayalam can turn any Mallu guy on. If you think mallus are hot, chances are you are talking about a Thrissur chick. But my stalker was far from hot in her facebook pictures. The sad part about  stalkers is that they are never the super models that you want them to be. Anyway we didn’t want one of those pseudo internet friendships and decided to meet on 19th Febuary 2012. Boy did she live up to the name of a Thrissur chick. She was nothing like her pictures but what really made her hot must have been her Malayalam and her mallu English. She remembers anniversaries and sort of wished me happy anniversary today, for successfully knowing each other for a year. So I thought I would write this as a tribute to her and all my blog fans and followers who help keep my blog alive. If not for you, this blog will not exist. I was not the most regular of bloggers last year where my blog only saw 8 new posts. However only good things have come out of this blog and this year I decided to make a new years resolution to blog every Sunday. It’s almost two months now and I am still sticking with my resolution, though it has changed from posting every Sunday to posting every week. I am going to say the dharma (principle) of my resolution is up held and that is all that matters in the end.

Bloggers, go follow Talitha who gave me a blog award recently without knowing I treat them like how Amir Khan treats his awards. She is a member of the X-Men and her mutant ability is her power to read every single post of yours within 24 hours of  posting (assuming your blog posts are as awesome as mine).


46 Comments for this post:

  1. Why does something like that doesn't happen with me? :P :-/

    Btw, is the iPhone offer still available. I will try my best to win that. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol yeah the offer is still there. It helps to make my website stalker proof :D

      Delete
  2. 29 to 17 million ..lol

    hey is the iphone offer still on...?

    :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dude everything is possible. Even a chance of you winning an iphone :D

      Delete
  3. is your name nivedya by any chance?

    sorry if am wrong!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ROFL dude you really started making the guesses huh? :D haha no my name is not Nivedya but I will give a clue - I am a guy. But I cant believe you guessed Nivedya of all names. That is my friend from college. Check out her blog: http://yourdogears.blogspot.co.uk/

      I am curious how did you link that name to me anyway?

      Delete
  4. Hello, Narcissist. Greetings. Now, I've been in need of a new phone since time unknown. And then you were here saying that you'd gift the person an iPhone if he/she knows your name. And, as luck would have it, I do. O:)
    Just kidding. Nice to have you back. At least one blogger updates his blog regularly.
    Happy-reader-me. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha thanks Paani. You might have found my blog a little too late to know what my real name is :D I hope your dad or boyfriend gets you a phone real soon ;)

      Delete
  5. name is Abhishek :p or Sanjay, or Sujith or Vivek (cos every Mallu I meet happens to be one of these!) and hey iPhone! Good lord! Do you have any *s that talks about conditions that apply??? :O

    Kappu

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh ya? Those are all mallu names now arent they? :D God I so want to stalk the shit out of you. All you leave me with is Kappu. How the hell am i supposed to know who you are man. :D

      Delete
  6. Hee hee.. dude, I don't think I know anyone who was happy to be stalked and be taken for a ride.. But then again, I've never had followers this dedicated either. Maybe it's just jealousy. All the best warding off iPhone contenders!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha my followers are dedicated arent they? :D Most of the iphone contenders are guys. I can sleep in peace knowing that guys have no skills in stalking compared to their female counter parts :D

      Delete
  7. Awwwww...I wish u get a hot trissur chick. And hey Ernakulam chicks r smart and hot too! Nd I also will start a contest about my anonymity.
    Om a serious note, I pray you and your stalker celebrate many more anniversaries :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol I already know you are an Ernakulam chick now :P

      Delete
  8. I think I just choked laughing...but all those poor things in your waiting-list may think you deserve it!;)
    Thrissur mallus, oh yes but more for the novelty than the cuteness!
    Someone talking in Thrissur Malayalam near me will more often than not see me gaping at them with this weird expression on my face ranging from somewhere between how-do-you-do-that to I-don't-get-it confusedness!
    And I'd suggest reconsidering the iPhone offer...never in-a-million-years ever underestimate the power of cyber-stalking!:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But Talitha, the girl who stalked me is going to be the only one. She now gives me tips on how to not be stalked. My blog is stalker proof now more than ever. My last stalker is like that little child in Batman rises who climbed out of that hole, all by herself without that safety rope. :P

      Delete
    2. I love my mutation!
      But I wouldn't count on it during my semesters...I thought I could.Boo hoo.
      And the thing about stalking in your case is that she was just one girl,what if a lot of geeky,bloggy girls banded together to form a Narcissist-stalking club??
      Run!:)

      Delete
    3. And yeah, thanks for the mention!:)

      Delete
    4. Yeah our mutant abilities have a knack of failing on us during times of need :D Man a Narcissist Stalking Club will be something I should truly be afraid of.

      Delete
  9. Replies
    1. haha in our universe it does my friend :D

      Delete
  10. Lol, Really nice of you to have written something to your faithful reader :-) But yes, sometimes these online stalkers irk the hell out of you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I reward my readers quite well dont i?

      Delete
  11. Hey... That's not fair... it isn't just Thrissur chicks who are hot!!
    Let's just say Malayali girls born in Bombay with very remote connections to Ernakulam and tenuous links with Thrissur are hot too! :P

    Glad that we have that cleared.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sheri Sheri Surya Murali oru vamban charaku ahnu poray? :P :P

      Delete
  12. Reading your blog after a long time. You have such dedicated followers! Now if only that happened to me- sigh! On the other hand, maybe I should learn from you and update more frequently. :/ And yes, why exactly is Thrissur so special? How about neighboring Palakkad for example? :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol I am from Palakkad and I know for a fact that Thrissur is a better place to find a bride. Palakkad however is the place to go for food :D

      Delete
  13. Hahaha :D
    You dont walk stalkers and you challenged it with an i-phone offer. Heights of anonymity!!!!
    Well!!! I like this blogger world for this very reason only.Here people just spread the word without revealing their identity. They become friends (no gender bias :p),critics,and in your case stalkers too :D
    If someone else had a chick stalker, he would have definitely enjoyed but then everything excess is prohibited. So totally agreeing with you. Let me know the deadline of this contest :P :P :P



    Silly Smiles... Take you Miles :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is no deadline for this contest Surbhi :D

      Delete
  14. Its good to be loved, isnt it?

    www.anucreations.blogspot.in

    ReplyDelete
  15. Dear Narcissist,

    Sent you a friend request about five minutes ago. :P

    P.S. I would like a white iphone.

    And 4s if not 5 okay? :D

    Vyoma :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Man! How the hell did you find me? :D

      Delete
  16. Wow! You really are already a celeb then if people have started stalking you on FB :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Dear AR,

    Is this offer still valid?

    I had a huge crush on a Thrissur girl. So I started stalking her, and somehow I landed upon your blog. This iPhone offer sounded too cool, and I stalked you too. I am very sorry to say, but there are many weak links in blog that reveals your anonymity. it doesnt even took me 15 mins to find you on fb too, as your old blog's URL is same as your fb ID.


    I used to work in an IPR consultancy firm as Research Analyst. Most of the days my job was to google. This googling thing brought so boredom that to add some fun in work I started stalking office chicks. Very soon, I became a great stalker. My frnds used to come to me if they had a crush on someone to stalk her/him. Trust on me,For my friends I stalked some random people whom I had never known, never talked, never seen, and even came up with their secret passwords. I dont know any hacking. The only pro thing I do is stalking.

    There are many weak links in this blog that reveals your anonymity. Delete such comments (including in this post too). You have a very nice blog. I enjoyed reading it.

    If you are unexpectedly rich, please let me know through my blog. I'll send you my address and you can mail me an iPhone. If you are not that rich, the least you can do is to write a blog post on "How to make a Thrissur chick fall in love with you". :P

    I am a hindi blogger, which you cant read. For that Thrissur girl I wrote an english poetry (cos she also dint know hindi). This english poetry is shit (like most of the english posts in my blog). But believe me, my Hindi posts are very good in quality. May be you wanna go through it:

    http://manishkumaouni.blogspot.in/2012/05/that-dimple-girl.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for stopping by in my blog Manish. You are a master stalker and I suggest you start a business online offering your service. You will make a lot of money. :D

      I will make sure I change those weak links. :D

      I will let you know when I have money in my pocket to get you the iphone, but "how to make a trissur girl fall in love with you" is a little easier and than getting you the iphone :P

      Mey hindi bahut acha samjtha hu manish bai :D I checked out your blog my hindi isnt that level yet though. :D

      Delete
  18. Am I allowed to take part in this contest? :P

    ReplyDelete
  19. I dont know if i want to stalk you to find out who you are :)because i really dont care!!

    But, but, but without offending any further, I will follow you just to get a every day dose of my laughter. This was a funny post and i think i wont stop at just reading this!!

    Keep up the good work!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If Swatee Paithankar, I dont think Paithankar will be too happy about it :D (Assuming Paithankar is your husband and not father) :D

      Delete

  20. LOL!! Can't stop laughing! hahahahahahaaaaa!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Actually, after reading the comments I would like to say, this looks more like a ploy to get people to stalk you :D For the thrill of it? Or just fun?

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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