Wednesday, August 10, 2011

For those who think I am a liar


Diary Entry 23

  
I was thinking why people pulverize coal during my power plant exam. This post is the only thing I could come up with.


Dear Friend,
During exams people pray for a lot of things. They might pray for easy question papers, a strong memory or a lenient evaluation. I however pray for motivation. Motivation to open the book and start studying. Especially if its history, eh I mean theory paper.  


Exams are such a distraction to my otherwise wonderful life. When I see people who study well in advance for their exams, I can’t help but wonder how they do it. I look at them in awe and also with a little bit of envy because I cant bring myself to study even the day before the exam. Me writing this post with not one but two exams tomorrow will tell you how excited I am about tomorrow’s exam.
If you have asked me before any theory exam, how much I prepared, you would have noticed that I tell the same thing, “Macha, Onnume Padikala.” (Dude, I have not studied anything.) I am not lying when I say this. You however will refuse to believe me because a week later, the faculty will distribute our answer sheets and my mark will turn out to be forty or more out of fifty and that is enough for you to think I am a liar.

But most of the things that they test us in have no relevance in our lives. So I dont study because there is a serious lack of motivation to study. When I want to remember the things that I study or if the teacher is super strict or if it was miss world teaching me, then maybe I would have had some motivation and you would have seen me studying. But in the mechanical department we don't have any miss, leave alone miss world. Also most of subjects, like machine tool design, have no use unless we want to do research. Research happens to be one of those things that make me say ‘yuck’ when someone asks me if I am interested in it. To me it is never ending and futile. It scares me to even imagine me doing it. So why will I be excited about studying subjects like that?
To me the whole process of examination is nothing but writing down the story our professor told us in class a month ago. The problem is that he wants to hear the same story and I don't know the story and if I tell him the wrong stuff then I wont pass. Reading it from the book is going to take a long time but no matter how massive the book is, I can be complete it in the three hours right before the exam. Sometimes its makes me think I have the worlds speed reading record. I really don’t read the books though. What I do instead is exchange information with my buddy. I go to his room and tell him I haven’t studied anything and I ask him to teach me all the stuff he has studied in 5 mins and he gives a quick overview of the entire syllabus and I will end up having the frame work for my story. So next time when I say it will take only 5 minutes to cover the entire syllabus, you will know there is some truth in what I say and it is not a mere exaggeration. A helpful friend like this can go a long way from you being a failure to a topper. So I end up writing the story the professor told us but I will miss the details of the story. I will add my own details based on logic and imagination and that is how I get marks in any exam. You might have done this too but without the same results. The difference between you and me is that I write relevant stuff and you don't. If they ask you to write the Ramayan please make sure its Ram and Ravan and not Jesus and Sadam Husein. You can make the demon kill the god, because it really doesn’t matter who killed who or what did what, as long as you get the names and the terms right, because in a exam they only look for keywords and not the logic that connects them. Sadly some teachers can be a painful exception to that rule and you must watch out for them.     

After the exam when I am given the answer papers with more marks that I deserve, I don’t sit and smile like you do. I fight with the teacher as if he did great injustice to the boy who spent his entire life studying for that particular exam. I know it is a bit too much and it is me being greedy but better marks in the first two internal means I can sleep in my room or maybe go home during the third internal.

Nane padips illa (I am not a nerd). So next time when I tell you I haven’t started studying, please don’t think I am lying. Log on to facebook and you will find me there. : )  

Love,
The Narcissist



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40 Comments for this post:

  1. And THAT my bwoy is the story of my life as well. People just don't get that a little logic, imagination and the ability to string full sentences together can go a long way in scoring :D

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    1. Maybe we should co author a book called "Writing exams for dummies" :D

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  2. That was fun.. and seemed genuine.. go on Narcissist!! All the best for your exams though

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  3. great stuff dude...i believe i've been in the exact situation many a times...

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    1. Dude you are a nerd :D Its a universal fact. Dean's listers dont come under this category :P.

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  4. Good post! Enjoyed reading. :)

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  5. I used to pray for calamity and believe me my CS exam and there was a blackout in North India. It was 31st December 1999. But, my exam was on 1st Jan and I thought if I failed to clear it, my excuse was ready(No light, no preparation). It's a different thing that I'm CS rank holder. Like you I know how to tell stories and convince the evaluators. Funny like always and your post are a treat...:)

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    1. CS meaning Company Secretary? :O that is no ordinary exam :D

      And thanks by the way :)

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  6. Hahahahahahahaa!
    Firstly,gooood luck :D
    And same pinch >:D<
    I say I haven't studied which is the truth but then I do get better marks than most of my friends :P
    Board results k din after yoga class, Bhagyashree, Tejanshi and me were talking about results. I was shit scared and all that but I got 87.64% as compared to 84.5 and 86 :P So duh, they don't believe me! I can relate. Totally!!

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  7. Hahaha, Exams are always this cool!
    Lol, I'mma lying you idiot, don't you dare call me nerd next time, it's more than taking an abuse onto myself. I swear :D :D
    And these mallu words, they are like speed brakers, I'm smiling, giggling and reading, then I just fall down, what is it, ohh your God-tell-me-what-exactly-are-they-words :P :D

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    1. Lol for the last time Risha, it is tamil and not mallu. :D :D Being in ece automatically makes u a nerd :P

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  8. That ain't the case! Lol No! Hell no, Seriously no no no no no! :D

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  9. Lol i wish i had written this one but then i dont even fit the criteria.
    DO I STUDY? NO
    DO I STILL SCORE GOOD MARKS? ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

    So thr you go i am probably the one who will be calling u a lier coz life is just plain unjust to me. :P

    On a lighter note...aweeesome read!

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    Replies
    1. Haha :D :D I will say what people like me always say, "marks dont matter" ;) maybe I will write another post telling people why :D

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  10. :D haha I used to go and watch movies during exams...

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  11. a very honest and genuine post...had me grinning all through :D :D

    Love in the times of samsung galaxy tab
    check this out and do vote for it (promote it on indiblogger) if you like it...

    cheers!

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  12. Aahh! I DONT like people of your kind! Man, if you dont study, how is it fair that you get top marks?!
    I dont study either n I only always get average marks!Hmph!

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    Replies
    1. Lol it is not that hard to be my kind :P there are so many of us :D

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  13. I completely agree with you. Thanks to my last minute preparation and my friends who help me at the eleventh hour.I'm not a Padips Too. 4 years of college, and 6 months of being completely vetti waiting to be called by my Recruiters and still my friends call me Padips, How unfair. If only they knew. :)

    Cheers. Its a Wow post.

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    1. :D :D Thank you Ashwini. This is like 15nth comment of yours I am replying to. Boy you are on a spree :)

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  14. What did I just read? My own story being told in my head, trying to defend my poor self when people accuse me of lying.

    Luckily I stay in a hostel and in three years' time, my classmates have actually spied on me in all futility because I am always on facebook or engaged in some sort of vellapanti.

    And thankfully by now, they have just accepted the fact that I am some sort of slave to a funny kind of dark magic for nice people. LOL.

    Except for your stream, everything about your story... that is, every little aspect is entirely mine too!

    Finally another bird of the same feather! ;D

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    Replies
    1. LOL I am glad you could connect. :D That is the most important thing :)

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  15. Btw after going through the string of comments I realized that us bloggers are pretty good with the "bragging-old-stories-on-answer-sheets" bit as apparently all of us relate to you!

    And then after a little thought, I just realized why!
    Duh-uh we are bloggers. We are ALL ABOUT not-stop-rambling-stories!

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    1. Haha it is some deep introspection that you have done here Enchanta :D I did not notice until you pointed it out to me :D

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  16. Haha .. Cant stop laughing :) There is one more like you commenting here :P
    Same feelings Machi :)) Great writing :)

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