Sunday, December 4, 2011

“What are you?”, she asks



Diary Entry – 36



When I was a kid, they told me I had a star when I was born. I felt quite special and thought I was meant to do great things because I was under the impression that the only other person who had a star during the time of birth was Jesus Christ. That is what happens to little kids who live in Christian colonies and who go to sing carols during Christmas.

Then one day one of my uncles killed himself. It was a very sad day for the family but his death helped me dispel the notions I was the next Jesus Christ. My grandfather comes next to me and tells me not to turn out like my uncle. Worried that my grandfather thinks I am mentally unstable, I ask why he thinks I will kill myself. For this he tells me that I share the same star as my now dead uncle. So much for starting my own religion.

In the stone ages, when there was no electricity, our ancestors used to stare at the starry sky instead of watch soap operas in the night. They noticed constellations and other celestial bodies and made them into zodiac signs. Women I newly meet keep asking me the question, “What are you?.” They are expecting me to answer with my zodiac sign. I have ended up losing my individuality because of my zodiac sign. Whenever I am talkative, they attribute me being chatty to me being a Gemini. When I am not being a conversationalist, they attribute my laconic nature also to me being Gemini. So when a girl asks me to tell me about myself, all I have to do is say I am Gemini. They will decide my character, personality, the compatibility I have with them and the possibility of me being their future partner.  
 
It would have been lot easier if they had a universal astrology sign. But your signs keep varying with the time zones. I am Gemini in the west, a goat in India and a sheep in China. The Chinese zodiac reading a girl gave me was especially crazy. She told me I was wise, gentle, and compassionate and I am compatible with Rabbits, Pigs, and Horses.

But there is nothing weirder than that concept of Gothra. When I was travelling alone, I happened to talk to this Brahmin guy who asked me what my Gothra was. I thought it was a new astro hokum invented in Tamil Nadu because I have never heard of it before. I conveniently tell him that I am from Kerala and there is nothing called Gothram in the place where I come from.  For this he tells me that every human in the world has it. When I ask him how to decide which Gothra I belong to, he told me that it was the name of the male ancestor from whom my people have descended in an unbroken male line. When I went home and asked dad what my ancestors name was, he told me something weird in Sanskrit which I have trouble remembering to this day. So I did a Google search on the list of Gotra names and picked the one I could easily remember. So when people ask me what my Gotra is these days, I tell them it is Kashyab. It is one of the Gotra names and it is also the name of my classmate, which makes it easy to remember. If you are Christian, I hope you won’t be asked this question. But if you are ever asked this question, you can always say Adam.

I have successfully memorized all my astrological details. If you live in India, remembering them is very much necessary because you will be questioned like an American immigration officer questioning a Cuban. I had to get my Letter of Recommendation from a professor in my university. Before he signed my LOR he asked me my sun sign and the name of the star I was born in. When I told him almost instantly, due to repetition, he looked up and pondered for a moment and did some calculations in the air with his hand. Then he said very good and signed my LOR. Never underestimate the need to remember your astrological signs. If you don’t know them, ask your parents today or search them in Google and pick one which you find most catchy and remember it.  
  
This reminds us of Sheldons dialogue on zodiacs. I recommend this video to all people who use zodiac signs to judge peoples personality.


 
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40 Comments for this post:

  1. With a sheepish smile, I admit to being an Arian. But the good part is that I judge only myself and I don't go asking around:P Plus it's all for fun, I don't believe the doomsday crap and the seven and a half year bad luck whatever you call it thing.

    And you're compatible with pigs?:P Wow, I'm having an awesome time imagining that:D

    And MCP alert!! It's not just girls ok? There are guys who believe that crap-_-

    What if a guy from the gothra you memorized asks you questions and wants to hold a conversation about it's significance in both your lives?:D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :D Well I know guys believe in that crap too, but most of them are introduced to it through their mothers, grandmother or girl friends :P

      Usually they stop with asking about gothra so I will be fine i guess. If they ask me details I will let them enlighten me ;)

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  2. I can picture you reciting your astro details(Chinese, Indian,Zodiac etc) with the gusto of a TV newsreader to anyone who questions you.

    I will strive to find out intricate details about my astro profile, who knows it might help me get a job someday; Crazy world Macha.

    Enjoyed reading this one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol yeah. I am sure you will find it pretty useful one day :D

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  3. Oh never thought about this stuff much. :P
    Well it means I'll have a lot of research to do during this Christmas vacations. :)

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    Replies
    1. haha yeah you probably have astro friends who can mentor you ;)

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  4. Well I am a Gemini too. I think this is not true always. I mean am a Gemini in west, goat in India, sheep in china? I respect all cultures n beliefs but I just can't believe it. Really. This one is a brilliant post, you must have read a lot about it. Good one. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have an astro friend who will tell me that we are saying that because we are gemini :D

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  5. this reminded me of the time when i was asked my sign during an interview. turns out his wife was an aquarian too & had walked out on him!

    i find sun sign thing fun & mast time-pass.

    see, the topic lent itself to a whole post on it right? & you wrote in such a way that you were both educating & entertaining the readers :D

    u had voted for a post of mine & that's how i came to ur blog. glad i did :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope your zodiac did not stop you from getting your job :D

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  6. ZodiACS are real fun. There are some typical characteristics. Well, that is how I believe.
    But, there is no hard and fast rule for judging :D

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  7. Okay! I believe in zodiacs *raises hand shyly* *runs away*
    Nice post, but seriously a subtle characteristic prevailing in all the people, according to their zodiac! :P :p

    And, that was a really good post! :D
    And I was searching for that video! :P :D

    ReplyDelete
  8. I kind of find zodiacs fun too- but for some they are more of 'horrorscopes' than horoscopes. :P
    And, aaha that video from TBBT is hilarious :D

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  9. I am capricorn and people belonging to this zodiac sign are introvert. That is why I am not saying anything :P:P:P but I liked the post :DDD

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  10. Hahaha..this was funny! Though at times I feel I too exhibit into my zodiac sign characteristics...though I have no clue about my star!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is time you learnt what your star is :D

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  11. i feel honoured to nominate you for the versatile blogger award please visit my blog http://alkanarula.blogspot.com for details

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  12. Zodiacs are fun and no one should take it so seriously :D

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  13. Nice post! And I can totally relate to it as I came from the neighbouring parts. Came here from ur indivote...

    Nice to have come across your blog:)

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  14. I am not sure how i came across your blog.. But i am so so happy i did..
    :D

    funny and relatable..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks a lot. I am happy you find it funny. :)

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  15. Replies
    1. The name is not the only things we have in common :D

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  16. Well i had a tiff with my friend only beacause he wanted to proove that scorpios and taureans are not compatible.. and well we did agree on that after some maggi "accidently" got thrown on his head ... sigh Sunsigns !!!! heheheh .. but well its fun at times ...

    The Gothra thing is new, but i guess il stick With Adam :D ... :P ..

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  17. You underestimate the iyer ponnu..
    She may look like that but she can probably outswear you hands down :)
    no offense :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wait did you read Describing My Ideal Partner post and comment on this one? :D and I am never shocked when an iyer ponnu swears. But when some girls call themselves iyer ponnu, it is shocking :D

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