Diary Entry – 36
When I was a kid, they told me I had a star when I was born. I felt quite special and thought I was meant to do great things because I was under the impression that the only other person who had a star during the time of birth was Jesus Christ. That is what happens to little kids who live in Christian colonies and who go to sing carols during Christmas.
Then one day one of my uncles killed himself. It was a very sad day for the family but his death helped me dispel the notions I was the next Jesus Christ. My grandfather comes next to me and tells me not to turn out like my uncle. Worried that my grandfather thinks I am mentally unstable, I ask why he thinks I will kill myself. For this he tells me that I share the same star as my now dead uncle. So much for starting my own religion.
In the stone ages, when there was no electricity, our ancestors used to stare at the starry sky instead of watch soap operas in the night. They noticed constellations and other celestial bodies and made them into zodiac signs. Women I newly meet keep asking me the question, “What are you?.” They are expecting me to answer with my zodiac sign. I have ended up losing my individuality because of my zodiac sign. Whenever I am talkative, they attribute me being chatty to me being a Gemini. When I am not being a conversationalist, they attribute my laconic nature also to me being Gemini. So when a girl asks me to tell me about myself, all I have to do is say I am Gemini. They will decide my character, personality, the compatibility I have with them and the possibility of me being their future partner.
It would have been lot easier if they had a universal astrology sign. But your signs keep varying with the time zones. I am Gemini in the west, a goat in India and a sheep in China. The Chinese zodiac reading a girl gave me was especially crazy. She told me I was wise, gentle, and compassionate and I am compatible with Rabbits, Pigs, and Horses.
But there is nothing weirder than that concept of Gothra. When I was travelling alone, I happened to talk to this Brahmin guy who asked me what my Gothra was. I thought it was a new astro hokum invented in Tamil Nadu because I have never heard of it before. I conveniently tell him that I am from Kerala and there is nothing called Gothram in the place where I come from. For this he tells me that every human in the world has it. When I ask him how to decide which Gothra I belong to, he told me that it was the name of the male ancestor from whom my people have descended in an unbroken male line. When I went home and asked dad what my ancestors name was, he told me something weird in Sanskrit which I have trouble remembering to this day. So I did a Google search on the list of Gotra names and picked the one I could easily remember. So when people ask me what my Gotra is these days, I tell them it is Kashyab. It is one of the Gotra names and it is also the name of my classmate, which makes it easy to remember. If you are Christian, I hope you won’t be asked this question. But if you are ever asked this question, you can always say Adam.
I have successfully memorized all my astrological details. If you live in India, remembering them is very much necessary because you will be questioned like an American immigration officer questioning a Cuban. I had to get my Letter of Recommendation from a professor in my university. Before he signed my LOR he asked me my sun sign and the name of the star I was born in. When I told him almost instantly, due to repetition, he looked up and pondered for a moment and did some calculations in the air with his hand. Then he said very good and signed my LOR. Never underestimate the need to remember your astrological signs. If you don’t know them, ask your parents today or search them in Google and pick one which you find most catchy and remember it.
This reminds us of Sheldons dialogue on zodiacs. I recommend this video to all people who use zodiac signs to judge peoples personality.
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