Diary Entry – 34
Stud: Wassup dog? How many chicks have you managed to pick up in the past few years? (Tamil – Enna da naye? Ethana figureeh correct panne?)
This is the way buddies greet each other these days. They think that the general well being of a person depends on how many girls he has been with.
Me: Haha. You definitely have not changed much. How are things with you? Girls in your college chasing after you like always?
Stud: No man. The girls who I study with have a really weird taste in men. They are after this girly dude who looks and acts like a gay fashion designer.
At this point the wise Yoda steps in.
Yoda: I thought an alpha male like you would have punched his face by now.
Stud: Trust me, a lot of people in my college want to do that but we can’t. It will be like hitting a girl. It feels so very wrong. I have no idea why all the women flock around him.
Me: Maybe girls like him because he is a real charmer.
Stud: Charmer my foot. Dude I can probably flirt with chicks better than him.
Yoda: Girls flock around him because his area of interest matches with theirs. That is why they like him so much.
Stud: Area of interest? Dude some of the chicks are really stupid to discuss subject related stuff with him.
Yoda: I was not talking in an academic point of view you fool. I was talking generally. Like the general area of interest of most men being flirting.
Stud: Oh so what do you think is the area of interest of the females in my college?
Stud: Gossip? How do you gossip macha?
Me: We are doing it right now.
Stud: Those chicks are all a bunch of aunties da. (Tamil - Ellam seri ah na mami macha.)
Yoda: Dude, you know what the girls are saying right now? They are calling us a bunch of flirts. (Tamil – Kadala Party)
Stud: What is wrong with being called a flirt? Is that not a compliment recognizing the efforts we put in?
Yoda: Well not exactly. Being called a flirt is like calling a woman a gossip monger.
Stud: That can’t be good.
Yoda: It definitely is not.
Stud: So you are saying I should change my approach when it comes to women? Start gossiping instead of flirting?
Yoda: I don’t think it will bring the effect you desire.
Yoda: Flirting is something you have been doing for years. Your current level of skill and knowledge can be compared to that of a bachelors’ student and before you get married you will have the skill of a masters’ student.
Yoda: Just like how you have a bachelors degree in flirting. The chicks you seek to mesmerize have a similar degree in gossiping. But you my friend are still in high school when it comes to gossiping and the girls will be in preschool when it comes to flirting.
Stud: Why do you think they are in preschool?
Yoda: How many women have told you that they do not know how to flirt, as if it is something to be proud of?
Stud: Oh yeah. But I can work on my gossiping skills rite? Make it better to match their skill.
Yoda: Yeah go ahead and talk about us behind our back. It will make us very happy to have you as our friend.
Stud: Hmmm sorry.
Yoda: There is nothing you can do about it. When those chicks get married and have children their gossiping skills will have attained doctorate level and when they become grandmas they will probably win a noble prize if ever there was one for gossiping.
Me: Uh some people will call this stereotyping you know. :D
Yoda: Oh I am not saying that all women are like that. There are exception to everything just as there are some women who are like angels from heaven with an exceptional talent when it comes to flirting.
Stud: Boy don’t we wish all women were like that :D
Yoda: If only we lived in a perfect world.
Stud: But dude if women like that get a PhD in gossiping by the time they have kids, wont we have a similar level of skill when it comes to flirting at that point of time?
Yoda: If you pursue your PhD after your marriage you will get something you don’t want for your degree certificate.
Stud: What is that?
Yoda: Divorce papers signed by your wife.
An apt reaction for this post would be:
If you are woman – “Men! They never change.”
If you are man – “Haha! That is so true.”
If you are a gay fashion designer – Say the same thing the women are saying :D
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