I don’t read the newspaper. I don’t watch the news on the television
or on the internet. If you ask me who the president of India is, I will say
Abdul Kalam. Believe it or not, I just googled “President of India” and found
out it was Pranab Mukherjee. What a
shock that was. I thought Pranab Mukherjee was still the finance minister.
These kind of shocks are every day for me now. Last
Christmas when I was in India, I was flicking through the channels and every
other news channel was talking about Sachin Tendulkar and his cricketing
career. There were also these old players who used to play in the Indian
cricket team talking about how they knew Sachin as a boy. I had no idea why
they were talking about Sachin out of the blue because the Indian cricket team
was losing ever single match they played. This made me think Sachin Tendulkar died. I was later told that he was retiring from
international cricket. In spite of all this I still struggle to understand why
anybody will waste their time reading the newspaper if he/she didn’t want to
ace the comprehension section in the GRE. I rather watch the discovery channel
instead of the news on the television.
I live in the UK now and when I came to India for Christmas
my Indian friend had to tell me this:
Macha is used like bro
or dude in a South Indian language called Tamil (I have readers from the UK you
see). Macha actually means brother-in-law. Here macha is my buddy whose name I
cannot reveal for my own personal safety)
Macha: The British
rule of India was the greatest tragedy in the history of our country.
See my macha knew how
I would respond. He also knew I don’t read the newspaper leave alone the
editorial columns and he purposely brought this up so he could show off.
Me: Apidi solladha macha (Don’t say like that dude). The
British did give us a few good things like the railway system and roads.
Macha: Do you know why they built the railway system and roads? The
British used the railways to move grains to the ports during a time when there was great
famine. It caused the death of millions of Indians.
Me: Oh. I did not know that da.
Macha: That is why you should read the newspaper. Otherwise
you will have a flawed world view like this.
Me: Dei idhukum
adhukum enna sambandham? (What is the connection between reading the
newspaper and my worldview.)
Macha: Pinne enna da, you are in a way saying that if the
British had not colonized India, we would not have developed.
I usually nod my head
and don’t bother telling people my world view. But when my world view itself was
mocked, I just had to tell him.
Me: I am not saying that. I know that the British did a lot
of bad things, but the way every Indian should see the British is the way you
see Nisha. (Nisha is macha’s ex girl friend.)
Macha: Nisha va edhuku
da summa illukere? (Why are you dragging Nisha into this?)
Me: Macha, when you were in a relationship with her, you
hated her, you felt exploited and you even wasted your money buying her food in
the name of going out on a date.
Macha: Dei kadupu
ethadha! (Don’t irritate me!)
Me: Matter kaelu da. (Listen da.)
When you finally did break up and move on with your life, you didn’t want to
call your past relationship a tragedy. You instead wanted to look at the time you spent
in the relationship with her and say - "some good things came out of something bad."
Macha: How the hell is Nisha like the British?
Me: Indha British pasangalam Nisha madhri dhan. (India’s story
with the British is also like your relationship with Nisha). Your ex girl
friend gave you maturity, the British gave Indians the railways. I am not
saying it is the best thing that ever happened, all I am saying is we are
looking into some of the good thing that came out of something bad.
Macha: Onne kitta poi
sonnane parru, enna serupala adikanam. (For telling you this, I should remove whatever I am wearing on my feet and hit myself with it.)
Me: Onna yarru scene poda sonnadhu. (Who asked you to show
off.)
In India, there are people who think reading the newspaper
every day somehow increases their IQ. Macha was one of them. What these people
fail to understand is that just because someone doesn’t know about something,
doesn’t mean that they are not intelligent enough to talk about it.
I am sticking with my
new year resolution by posting every Sunday. However, I post in GMT so that it
might be Monday In India, when I post here in the UK.
Previous Post - The Phone That Lived
Previous Post - The Phone That Lived
nice :)
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Thanks :)
Deletepatronizing the British are you now ? :P :)
ReplyDeleteYes I am :D
DeleteI know...even I was surprised when lil bro informed me that Pratibha Patil wasn't the Prez..not like it makes a difference.
ReplyDeleteBritish colonialism,Cricket and Salman Khan films top my list of Taboo-topics for fanatics!
Lol it is still fun to talk about these stuff to people. Especially if they are fanatics.
DeleteFirst of all, thanks for voting my post @ Indiblogger. I presume, the shift of getting the news through net or social media will take its effect gradually....
ReplyDeleteLol no problem. I loved you recipe blog. I love food pictures. They make me hungry
DeleteNice read..
ReplyDeleteLoved the comparison you made between British rule and girl friend. There are indeed some similarities. And you were spot on in saying that just because you don't read the newspaper doesn't mean that you are not intelligent enough to talk about it.. Though I belong to the newspaper category.. :)
Haha at least you dont hate me Deepak :D
DeleteA very different take on the British..liked your view..good post!
ReplyDeleteThanks Rahul :)
Deletecool...full of humor, your chief weapon :))
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot Ritesh. I am glad you liked it.
DeleteYou don't really have to be intelligent to talk about stuff. You just need to have a fact-based POV about it. Every newspaper is a POV and you can get your facts apart from the newspaper too. But not having any facts in hand and having a 'intelligent' conversation about it? I'm not sure unless the other guy is ready to give an unbiased premise after which you can obviously give your view about it.
ReplyDeleteWhen I do argue which I rarely do, it is usually on the logic of the view point that a person has. Never do I attempt to argue with facts. You can know nothing about something and still reason the soundness of someone's logic. You don't have to see Twilight to argue with a "Twilight Fan" that the movie is just a big waste of time. You just need to know the general story line. I hope your writing is going well. I will come check out your blog soon. Cheers.
DeleteHeh. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteThanks. There was this blog post of Talitha that I read, where she was all praise about you. I am not sure if you are the rite person though. :D
DeleteJustified take on British and yes reading newspaper..Loved the way you have put across something so serious in such a causal manner..
ReplyDeleteLol thanks Richa. I will hate to see my blog get serious.
DeleteLOL... That was a good comparison though. I don't read the newspaper either. I don't know if ti's a good thing, but hey whatever.. :P
ReplyDeleteLol you might just develop your critical thinking ability :D
DeleteGive the devils its due. History will judge, the British, Gandhiji, Nehru and all.
ReplyDeleteThe news media in India, is mostly biased. Most of the leading papers print what they want us to hear, and not the news. Better to catch it in headlines in Google and read the political blogs for drawing our own conclusions.
Yeah but when I read political blogs I usually fall asleep. Strangely only local politics has that effect on me.
DeleteTo each his own, I know some uneducated people who are quite intelligent :D
ReplyDeleteAnd I know some educated people who are not so intelligent lol :D
DeleteMy grandma used to tell me that everything was not bad with British Raj. For example their waste disposal system. It was far systematic and well managed as compared to present India where you either do not have such system or is as bad as waste itself. She also heaped praises on British teachers, who were very learned, polite and knew their job well(whatever may be the hidden agenda).
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, intelligence has nothing to do with education. Great read.
Oh trust me. If you are British, you have a Phd in being polite by the time you are ten.
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