Monday, March 4, 2013

Fist Fights With The Sleep Demons


Diary Entry – 54

Every morning I fight a battle which I often tend to lose. Failing to win this battle will mean a lack of attendance. The victors of this battle however will see no glory. They will only find themselves slain in class by the boring lecturer. Coffee doesn’t give you invincibility against these villains. Expecting such powers will only make you want to file a lawsuit against Nescafe for misleading you.  

This battle is impossible to win, when there is a class at 9 Am. I find myself with the sleeper’s dilemma as I try to decide whether or not to go to class 10 minutes before the actual class.

“To go, or not to go? That is the question.”

I have tried various alarm tones to wake myself up from my slumber. I have used everything from barking dogs to Indian mantras. Nothing worked till one morning afternoon after missing a class, I did a Google Search, “I Can’t Wake Up.” When you have a problem, you should first tell it to Google. That is how I found this app for my phone called “I Cant Wake Up!” When your alarm goes off, the app asks you to perform a math test among other things before you can switch off your alarm or even press the snooze button. The math test requires you to multiply two pairs of two digit numbers together and add them up together. I can now perform speed mental math in my sleep. How I miss Chennai. The 8 Am power cut along with the scorching heat made sure that nobody over slept in the city. That is why you should vote for Jayalalitha.

Unlike India, you can’t get people to give you a proxy attendance in the UK. In the University I am in, there is a lady whose sole purpose in life is to stand in front of the class room, for the first 15 minutes, to get signatures from students for their attendance. If you miss your attendance, she just won’t mark you absent but will send you an email saying, “We don’t have your signature in the attendance sheet. What was the reason?”. Since I don’t like lying about being in class when I was not, I send her a neutral reply saying, “I failed to sign in the attendance because I woke up late.” She will reply saying, “Okay I will mark you as late but present. Please know that punctuality is as important as attendance.” My mother had it right when she said, I could never get into trouble if I am honest.




27 Comments for this post:

  1. Hahaha....as usual hilarious! :D I actually wait for your posts! :)
    *That is why you should vote for Jayalalitha*- LOL

    Are you in chennai now? I got confused when you wrote about the power cuts. I thought you were in UK.

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    1. LOL i live in the UK right now. I am from chennai though.

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  2. I am one of those boring lecturers and I tell you, you need that degree I don't! :D

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    Replies
    1. lol if I could I would get the degree without attending any class :D

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  3. So true and amazing! Because of this i flunked in a semester and eventually in all :(

    Misha

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  4. hahaha.......I think sleep is directly proportional to studies. The more you have to study the more sleepy you feel. It is so difficult to get my daughter out of her bed in the morning on days she has to go to school. On other days she is up much earlier without any prodding.

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    1. Lol everyday is a sunday for me though. I wake only in the afternoon :D

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  5. :D .... wow !! wonderful app - solve the math to shut-up the alarm :) equally wonderful was your post !! :) Have you ever tried the pillow -alarm ? :) They say .. you need no alarm if you just whisper to your pillow to wake you up... you will wake up at that time and will feel uncomfortable while you try to sleep again!! It works :D
    By the way,Proxy attendance has its own fun :) all the more when you are giving the proxy on behalf of your friends ... you need to have voice mimicking talent... :D .. i remember being caught trying to give attendance in Amitabh Bachchan's voice .. Haaiin !! :)

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    1. My pillow is a traitor. It asks me to go to sleep even when I want to wake up. I was in the mechancial engineering department and there was 3 girls in class. I had friends who gave proxy for girls also :D

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  6. Ah, story of my life. I just got that app, guess I'll try this too. I wish proxy attendance was an option!

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    1. LOL after a few days you will uninstall it because it made snoozing too difficult for you :P

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  7. i remember when i was in college, we had 1 guy who'll get up early every week to give proxies for others .. and once his turn was done, it's turn of other guy to do the same next week!

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  8. Story of my life!
    And it isn't going to end any time soon but that app does sound nasty...oh well.
    I should be thinking of getting myself one unless I want to spend my life washing dishes or one of the million things on my parent's horrible-futures-if-I-don't-study list.

    I should have gone to class.
    Nyah.:)

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    1. Lol you always have the option of getting married :D

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  9. lol.. interesting writing.. maths problem vs sleep.. uh oh tough job. :D discovered your site recently and am thoroughly enjoying your posts.. kudos..!

    A Rat's Nibble

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  10. My college actually has us put our fingerprints into a machine for attendance.
    There is no way to ditch without getting caught.
    Crying.

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    1. Oh lol. Your college has gone over the top abt attendance havent they :D

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  11. This is so true! Thanks for sharing... I just came across your blog and I'm your newest follower :) Would you mind checking out our blog and (if you like) following back via GFC and Bloglovin'? Looking forward to your next post! XX

    sixthtractate.blogspot.com

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  12. Hilarious!!! Hilarious!!! Hilarious... need I say more??!! It was a lot like-- Story of my life.

    Ciao
    Ankita
    A piece I wrote...

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  13. All I have to say is pavam you! Yes there is always someone who stands in the way of your proxy conspiracy!!

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    1. Sigh yeah. In india if you dont have attendance you have to pay a fine. In the UK you have to go back to your own country :/

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    ReplyDelete