Wednesday, June 22, 2011

In the land of the Super Star

Diary Entry 7

If you take any place around the world, you will find two communities fighting with each other. The black people fight with the white, Muslims and Hindus, people in the same religion but different caste fight with each other, people from who speak different languages or from different states fight with each other and the list goes on and on. They are always fighting with each other because they believe in something very strongly to fight for it.

In South India there is a place called Chennai where people don't give a damn about which religion or caste or race you belong to. But that doesnt mean there is no fighting. However, the battles fought here are of a different kind. Even if you are a neutral observer, you will find yourself drawn into this war that has been going on for decades.

Let me tell you something about the city. No matter who you are or where you are from, the people here will accept you. But there are certain sure cut ways in which you can get rejected (maybe even killed). Crack a joke about Rajinikanth and you will be lucky if you don't get your ass whooped. There was a time when I used to forward messages in the phone. I got a message from a North Indian friend who lives in Chennai that Rajinikanth was dead and for further information watch the movie 16 Vayathinile. I being the jobless fool that I was then sent that message to everybody in my phone book. Some people who saw the two words Rajini and dead together got a minor heart attack. When they read the whole message their shock turned into anger and few people called me and said the meanest of things. Rajinikanth is like the Queen of England here. You never ever speak bad things about him.

But there is a war within the community that has been going on for a decade now. No matter how neutral you are, you find yourself drawn to it. It involves movies (which if you haven't realized by now tamil people take very seriously). In movies there are 3 people who make records which are impossible to beat. The first is Rajinikanth. The other 2 are Ajit and Vijay. Ajith and Vijay have set a impossible record of flops that nobody in the next century can beat. If you went for one of their movies with a "RATIONAL MIND", you will find yourself laughing during the fight scenes. If you don't find them funny you will get a migraine. If however you go to the movie without a rational mind, you will think those movies deserve an Oscar. They have been acting for decades now. Each actor has his own fan base. Each fan base hates the other with such an intensity that if you were ever between the two, you will think you are in between Israel and Palestine. You will totally hate the two actors from the core of your heart but you will get drafted to a side as if to fight the world war. This is how I got dragged into a fight once.

Guy 1: Who do you like the most macha. Ajith ah? Vijay ah?

Guy 2: Vijay dhane?

Me: Dai I hate both the fools.

Guy 1: You have to say who you like. Pick one.

Me: I dont like both of them da.

Guy 2: Vijay sollu machi.

Guy 1: Okay who do you hate more? Ajit ah? Vijay ah?

Me: Hmmm if you ask like that I guess I hate Vijay more.

Guy 1: Macha from now on you are ajit fan.

Guy 2: DROHI... (Traitor)

Me: What? How did I become a Ajit fan? I hate that guy.

Guy 1: Macha to be a Ajit Fan you should satisfy one of the 2 conditions. Either you have to be a Ajit Fan or you have to hate Vijay more than Ajit.

Me: What?

Guy 1: Your new god is Thala macha...

Me: Huh? Thala?

Guy 1: Amman machi. You are from now on a USA Fan.

Me: USA?

Guy 1: Ultimate Star Ajit.

Me: .....

Most people these days hope that these two actors dont start two separate political parties. Because if they ever did, we might have to divide the state.

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3 Comments for this post:

Sid said...

Dude bala's gonna kill u for not including kamal :)

The Narcissist said...

LOL which side are u on??? :D

The Narcissist said...

Not worried. He wont read this macha :D