Saturday, June 25, 2011


Diary Entry 10 

If you know my father personally, please make sure you read this before you read anything else.

When I went to Kerala this time, I met a distant relative of mine. 

Aunt: Eda, you look exactly like how you look in those facebook pictures you posted. I thought you must have gained some weight.

Me: Oh lol chechi, you know how it is in college. The food they serve us is not exactly ambrosia.

Aunt: Haha but still you have to eat da. You can eat outside.

Me: I can but not everyday. Too expensive. By the way, you told me you saw me in facebook. Did your daughter show you my pictures?

Aunt: No no. Ahvil onnum facebookle ennike kanikilla. (No. She wont show me anything in facebook.)

Me: Oh. How did you see it then.

Aunt: I log in to her account when she is not home da. You know, to check on her and to know what kind of people she is socializing with.


I was shocked. It was not because a mother was spying on her daughter, but because of something else.

Aunt: Endhu Pathe? (What happened?)

Me: Chechi when you were online in you daughters account, did you ever talk to me?

Aunt: Of course. Last time we spoke I asked you how your grandfathers health was, remember?

Her daughter has never met my grandfather. I should have known something was fishy when she sounded concerned about someone she has never met. I thought she was being polite.  

Me: Chechi, when I spoke to you thinking I am talking to your daughter, did I by any chance say anything I shouldnt have?

Aunt: Haha like what?

Me: eh chechi. You should know I completely respect you daughter. She is like a sister that I never had. I have told my mother many times that I wanted someone like your daughter as a sister.

Aunt: oh ho adhey yo? lol get to the point da...

Me: Eh. Did I by any chance, you know uh flirt with your daughter, eh I mean you?

Aunt: Haha you did flirt with me. But dont worry about it, I wont tell your parents. All her guy friends do that.

On the one hand she sounds like a really mature lady who is okay with guys flirting with her daughter (and her) and on the other hand she is spying on her own daughter. Man this lady confuses me.

Me: When you say all her guy friends do that, you mean that they flirt with you?

Aunt: Right. But of course they dont know its me. My daughter doesnt know that I use her account, and I hope she wont come to know in the future either.

Me: I wont tell her chechi, I promise.

(Who knows what inappropriate crap I have told her instead of her daughter).

Me: But why do you have to spy on her?

Aunt: Well you know how the Internet is. Bank account numbers get stolen, people killing themselves because of cyber bullying and stuff like that.

Someone has been reading way too much news paper. 

Me: I understand what you mean. Hackers can use facebook to get peoples credit card details. You are doing the right thing. I wish my parents were like you :P

This lady's daughter is a month older than me. She is doing medicine in a top university in India. I think she has the brains not to give away her bank details and to stay away from cyber bullying. Man I always thought that with her IQ level she can become president of MENSA and now I see someone smarter than her tricking her.

After I spoke to this woman, I realized that I have such mature parents. But ever since I started using the Internet I kept them in the dark about the things I do here. Internet is a lot more fun when your parents dont know what you have been upto.

But if I did show things like this blog for example to my father, he will love it. The next thing that he will do is tell all his friends and even some of that patients to go check it out. He makes a really big deal out of the smallest of things that I do. I once a wrote a speech about poverty. I sent it to him to see how it was. Everybody in Tambaram knew every line in my speech the next day. So when I tell you that I am never going to show this blog to him, you might ask me why I dont want all that free advertisement.

Its because my father is a complicated man. You can make fun of him and he will think its funny most of the time. But the times when he doesn't think its funny is not very pleasant. I for the most part stay away from making fun of him. But I wrote this post Travel Partner that so many of you liked reading. One of my friends who read that post told me that he had tears in his eyes after reading it. I thought he was a sympathizer of my plight. But it so turns out that he couldnt stop laughing. My father still thinks that incident was no big deal. He tells me its a valuable experience. The only experience I got was that of my mothers marriage. There is a very good chance that he might think that post was crude humor. So I am not taking the risk.

I told you in the beginning that if you knew my father that you have to read this very carefully. That is because some people try to impress my father for no reason at all. Konjam over ice they usually put. I can think of some fools who are going to read my blog and tell my father the following:

"Your sons blog is very funny. Especially the part where you two went to kerala together. How come you never told me about it?"

If you say this or anything like this, then you wont see me anywhere in the Internet after that.


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1 Comments for this post:

The Narcissist said...

hehe my dad wont be so proud when he sees my blog :D