Saturday, July 9, 2011

Kerala

Diary Entry 16

 If you are planning to make a trip to Kerala then reading this might be useful.



Don’t ever come to Kerala if you don’t like coconut. You will have to starve because there is coconut in literally everything edible. If you are allergic to coconut then coming to Kerala is suicide.


Most people come to Kerala expecting the fairest people in the world but when they cross the border, they look around and wonder for a moment if they are still in Karnataka or Tamil Nadu. Everybody in Kerala is not fair complexioned. Don’t be disappointed if you don’t find Punjabis here.


Some people from Kerala can talk English without the mallu accent. Please don’t come to Kerala and insult them by asking if they are mallu just because they spoke to you in a English that did not have an accent that you are so fond of mocking.



Just because Kerala has a 100% literacy does not mean that everybody in the general populace belongs to the high IQ society.  When you see the children there, don’t ask them how their IIT preparation is going.


We love people who take bath twice a day. We can handle people who take bath once a day. But we can’t stand people who don’t take bath at all (We have a lot of water there you see). So when you come to Kerala make sure you take extra care to be hygienic.


Travelling in an Auto Rickshaw is very cheap. You will find it insanely cheap especially if you are from a place like Tamil Nadu (where the Rickshaw guys rip you off).  I payed 12 Rs for the same distance for which I would have paid 80 Rs in Tamil Nadu. I was shocked to the point that I tipped him an extra 20 Rupees. (Don’t ask me how these people survive. I have no idea).


You probably are fascinated with Kathakali. I have been watching Malayalam Doordarshan for years now and I still cant figure out what they are trying to do. You will tell me all the stuff like dance needs no understanding to enjoy but let me tell you that Kathakali is not salsa. You wont even understand the music. You rather spend that money eating puttu and kadala or karimeen. Paying money to watch a Kathakali show will be like paying to go to sleep (a hotel will be more comfortable).


Previous Post - For the desperate man






18 Comments for this post:

  1. Well I am also a mallu in chennai. Completely agree with the auto thing, they are really awesome compared to the one we have here but the IIT part of it, not as much as here, but go to trichur and you can hear stories for P.c.thomas- heard abt this guy?

    http://vj-menon.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol yeah cousin is being forced to go to p.c thomas :D

      Delete
  2. In TN v dont ve strikes,harthals&bandh as it in kerala

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess tamil nadu is better in a lot of ways. But lol if you studied in my college, you will want strikes harthals and bandh because that means more HOLIDAYS :D

      Delete
  3. Absolutely agree with anonoymous

    @Abhi See one or the pther guy is there ( abt p.c.thomas)
    Well who doesn't want some hols for free?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ahem my native place is Kerala...and the people are not that bad...ahem :P ... yeah the rickshaw rides can be cheap... and people bathe da.. chumma irikku... I my folks do it like twice :D .. hahaha I feel so proud!! ;) ...

    But yeah you forgot mentioning the guys in the bus...they can be pretty sick when they look/touch a chic unnecessarily...mad asses :P .. But I love going back there... coz of the greenery and all that... :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL the guys never felt me up so I wouldnt know. I happen to be a mallu guy and you are not painting a very pretty picture for me :D :D

      Delete
  5. I thought your a tamilian... hmm I'm a mallu girl...Well maybe you don't fall into this category of men... but then the picture is pretty gory ... ughh those cheapsters.. black men with blacker mustache and gold chains... stupidity :P ..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL you portray the picture of the Villans in Tamil Movies :D :D arent mallu dudes supposed to be fair. Well atleast that is what people here have made me believe :)

      Delete
  6. Fair..YES! Compared to tamil guys... but then again I know so many mallu's who are fair and they look quite handsome ;) ... the others well... never mind, I don't discriminate :)... I'll conclude they are just sun-kissed :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol :D :D you are gonna get married to one sun kissed fellow if you let your parents pick :D

      Delete
  7. *Ugh! I hope not... pleaseee I'll just RUN now :P .. I'll pick mostly or I'll make sure he's a nice sweet boy .. *evil smile* :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :D I wish you all the luck in the world for that :D

      Do send me a invitation card though :D

      Delete
  8. Having spent 4 wonderful years in Kerala, I should say I like the climate and the low fare autos and the delicious Sea Food Restaurants in Fort Cochin. It used to be so calm. Now It's all crowded I guess. nice place Kerala.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kerala is not nice, its awesome :) Kerala is heaven :D :D

      Delete
  9. Perfect! :D Especially the auto rickshaw part. Tamil Nadu auto rickshaw-waalas rob you. -_- I had written a similar post along these lines. You'll definitely relate to it. Do read :D

    http://aparnair.blogspot.in/2012/12/the-travellers-guide-to-kerala-and-its.html

    ReplyDelete