Describing my ideal partner (in 45 sec)

Diary Entry 9




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In TOEFL there is a reading section, a Listening section, a Speaking section and a Writing section. I was told that the exam was so easy that people who don't even know the pattern get 100+/120. I havent got my scores yet. I do think I did well for most part of the exam, but I found only one question in the entire exam very very hard. It was the first question in the speaking section. A question about a familiar topic is presented to you and you have 15 sec to prepare and 45 sec to talk about it.


Describe an ideal partner. What qualities do you think are important for him or her? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choices.

When I first heard the question. I was ecstatic. I mean, I think about chicks all the time :D. How hard is it going to be talking about the ideal one? If you are an Indian, and by Indian I don't mean the ultra modern one, you will think about a husband or wife when you hear the word partner. Probably because most women and eh some men in India want to save themselves for marriage and their spouse is the only partner they end up having in their lives. I decided I will talk about the topic in the most unindian way possible. That is, I decided to talk about the ideal girl friend instead of a wife. I was advised that in the speaking section it is best to have an image in the mind and to talk about the image and describe it. Did I have a image in the mind? Hell yeah. My ideal partner was something of a cross breed of Deepika Padukone and Pamela Anderson (the less endowed version). In my mind's eye she had the heart of Mother Theresa and the skills of T*ri B*a*k. (Please dont try to fill the stars if you are a girl) I had so much to say or so I thought.

When I took my pencil to write down something to talk about, I realized that my perverted spirit was running free. I had so many things that I wanted to say, but they were all perverse. Losing points for saying perverted things was not the last of my problems. There were 20 people in the same room who will hear every word that I will speak. This made me extremely self conscious. The girl next to me is what we call a 'pakka' iyer ponnu. To be a 'pakka' iyer girl it is not enough if you belong to the caste. You should also dress, look and walk the part. In short, they are the Indian version of Virgin Marys who hope to get pregnant without anything physical happening. The last thing I wanted was for this girl to look at me in shock and say, "You said the F word." So my choice of expression was limited by the people around me and the only thing I could come up with was that my ideal partner has to be hot and I wasn't entirely sure if I could say that either.

I did have other things to say. Like I wanted my girl to be employed and to be educated. But then I will be taking the Indian stand as I will be saying things that I wanted my wife to be. Even if I did take the Indian stand, it will take only 5 seconds to say everything I had to say and I have to speak for 45 seconds. The computer beeped signalling the end of my prep time and my notes paper had only one word written on it for me to talk about. The word was "hottie". Even god must have been biased in a level when he made men visual creatures and women verbal creatures.

I spoke for 40 seconds nonstop. I finally did take the Indian stance of describing the ideal spouse instead of the ideal girl friend. For the second part I ended up speaking about the girl who my grandmother would have thought was ideal for me. The compatible one who fits well with the family. I couldn't believe I came up with such crap. I said a lot of inappropriate things too. There was this place where I said I wanted my girl to have fire. What I meant was I wanted a industrious girl. But I guess the interpretation is left to the evaluator's imagination.

As soon as the computer beeped to signal the end speaking I was very relieved. Describing my ideal partner for 45 sec was the hardest thing I ever did. In GRE, if there was one thing that I needed no preparation, it was reading comp. I was so good at it. In TOEFL the level was even lower so I finished all the questions in record time and I finished the listening too in record time. I was the first person to start speaking and the first person to finish that section too. After the speaking section I started off with the writing. The guy sitting next to me just entered his speaking section and he got the exact same question I did. I know this because he started talking by saying my ideal partner is.... All the other questions were also same. I couldn't ignore him because he was talking so loud and I was trying to make up shit for my essay. But what shocked me was he was describing his ideal partner in the masculine. It was a relief actually because no matter how bad my description about the ideal partner was, there was always the chance for the evaluators to give me extra points for being straight. Then it occurred to me that he might have thought partner meant something like a friend or business partner.



Its been a week now and I am still wondering how my ideal partner should be. Frankly I will be okay with anybody as long as they love me. Still cant talk for 45 seconds though.



P.S - I like iyer girls (Just in case you thought the opposite). NO. FOR THE LAST TIME I AM NOT An IYER

My TOEFL score is 110 and you probably thought I will flunk :D (30/6/2011)

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