Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Tech Dummies

Diary Entry 18

Ever had to teach someone how to use a technology? If you haven’t, then let me tell you it is one of the hardest things to do. These are some really brilliant people, but when it comes to things like computers they dont have a clue

Ever went to a national monument or some other place like that for sightseeing with your family, and you wanted to take a group picture which included everybody. So you give the camera to the smartest stranger who walks by, and tell him which button to press and how to focus and stuff like that, and then you go stand in front of the camera along with everybody  else, waiting for the flash with a big grin on your face. You wait and wait and after 5 minutes (by now your back would have started hurting if you gave weird poses) the guy suddenly says he is not able to click and you have to go back and explain it to him all over again while the others look at him with a frown. If this happened to you, you will think this guy is a dummy who is clumsy with things but it will turn out that he is actually a Cardio surgeon who is adept in giving people heart transplants but inept when it comes to taking pictures in a camera. Not exaggerating here. I have patiently trained such people in various complex skills like using an email, how to switch on and take pictures with a digital camera etc. They are very much real and you probably are one yourself.

Well if you thought that teaching them how to use a camera was hard then you should try to teach them how to use a computer. I have done this and so I know.

This is a conversation I had over the phone with my dear doctor friend (I am not saying they are either of my parents, I am just saying its a true story :D)

Doctor:  Hey I got the laptop.

Me: Cool. So have you turned it on yet?

Doctor: No

Me: Why not? Just click the switch on button.

Doctor: There are so many buttons. How do I know which one is the switch on button?

Me: The one which is on the very top of the key board. It will have the same symbol you see in the switch on/off button in the TV remote.

Doctor: okay I see it. I think its turning on. I need to make a email account. People seem to want to mail me things all the time and they ask me for my email id. Some how it seems to shock them when I tell them I don’t use a computer. They don’t understand how doctors dont use computers.

Me: Hmmm. Its very easy to make a email id. Lets first get you a good browser. I don’t want you to use the default internet explorer.

Doctor:  Should I go buy a new browser???

Me: No no its free. Dont you ever buy anything. People are downloading operating system these days.

Doctor: Oh. I got a anti virus though.


Doctor: Isnt that like the computers immune system or something.

Me: Yeah but you could have still got it for free. Its not like the computer is going to get a cold.

Doctor: Its ok.

Me: Sigh don’t buy anything from now on without asking me.

Doctor: I think the computer is on, what should I do.

Me: Click on the ‘e’ icon on the screen and type

Doctor: Oh wow who would have thought I will be using google.

Me: Well I guess everybody sort of assumes that you do. Type firefox  download and click enter.

Doctor: Man that is so hard. It is going to take some time. Wait.

Me: What? Why?

Doctor: The letters are all messed up. Its not in order. Let me call you back after typing.

After fifteen minutes or so, I get a call. I tell the doctor how to download and install the firefox browser and ask the doctor to call me back for the instructions on how to send  emails.

An hour passes and I have still not got a call. How hard will it be to install a browser? Has something happened to the doctor? I call...

Me: What happened? Have you installed yet?

Doctor: No I am still in the process of installing.

Me: WHAT? You could have formatted your computer and reinstalled the Operating System by now and you are telling me you are still installing a browser?

Doctor: Yeah this process is so complicated da.

Me: What does it say on the screen now?

Doctor: It says license agreement. I have been reading it for the past one hour. There is still more. I cant understand some of the terms. You done this before, can you tell me what it is?

Me: &(#;^%

It will take two years to teach them how to use a email.

Previous Post -The Medicine Hater

25 Comments for this post:

Rohan said...

This is so damn funny! I have experience!

shriram said...

dude so humourous da....................

Unknown said...

Hi Abhishek,
Got your mail sometime back and ended up reading this very post. Undoubtedly, it's hilarious and quite true 'coz stuff like this does happen all the time.

Very well written and thanks for voting :)

Spiritual Sherpa said...

:D lolz buddy :) this statement is the best one " Isnt that like the computers immune system or something." :D

Cindrella said...

This reminds of how I used to strive hard to teach my parents on how to use internet mails etc!! Finally after all the efforts they have both managed to reach the level of FB users :D I am a proud daughter now!! :D

Ayushi said...

Oh dear sure this is a task. I have to make one helluva effort to keep my mum away from facebook :P

Ayushi said...

And cinderella, I too am a proud daughter ! :) I taught mom how to text and she's so occupied with it right now :)

Nirati said...

Hahahahahahahaha funny :D

CookieCrumbsInc. said...

'Well I guess everybody sort of assumes that you do' - ROFLROFLROFL. I relate so much because I have a grandma at home who uses FB and pokes me every time she logs in. Thanks to me

Why hadn't I found you till now:D

Vijay Menon said...

Hey buddy I am glad to inform you that you have received an award. Do check my latest blog post.

Mishilicious Mishi said...

hahaha that was funny!

The Narcissist said...

LOL you see how hard it is train some people. :) The doctor is catching on though :)

The Narcissist said...

lol thanks :)

The Narcissist said...

Oh my god :O. Give me your address I will send you a mobile phone or something. Dude I still dont believe what I am seeing. Thanks a lot man. Though I have never seen you, you are the brother born to another mother :D :D

The Narcissist said...

'Well I guess everybody sort of assumes that you do' - ROFLROFLROFL. I relate so much because I have a grandma at home who uses FB and pokes me every time she logs in. Thanks to me

Why hadn't I found you till now:D

The Narcissist said...

If my dad is active in cyberspace then that is my end. The cyber space is not big enough for both of us :D

The Narcissist said...

Lol I on the other hand take extra effort to make sure that my parents dont use facebook. :D

The Narcissist said...

Grandma who uses facebook :O I think I seen it all :D

The Narcissist said...

Lol Strangely I never got ur name. Thanks for all the suggestions by the way :D

The Narcissist said...

Lol I sometimes think it is a good thing that our parents are slowly evolving from the stone age :D

The Narcissist said...

glad u liked it :)

The Narcissist said...

Thanks. loved ur father post :)

Nirali Naik said...

Hahahaha ! :P Technologically challenged people amuse me :P

PS : I have successfully spammed your blog, I'm going to go now . BYE :D

The Narcissist said...

LOL Thank you for reading my blog Nirali

The Narcissist said...